Bible, Baptism, and Blue Nails

In my last post, I shared how I’ve been struggling to answer the call to create - to balance this season of life (or just LIFE) and also to pursue the things I feel God is calling me to.

That post came back to haunt me in the best way possible. 

But let’s catch up, shall we?

Returning to Church

Back in September 2025, my husband and I decided to return to church. This was something we had discussed here and there, but we hadn’t really taken any action. Luckily, we had a friend who attended church and invited us to hers.

The first Sunday we attended, walking through the double doors, welcomed by greeters, and seeing the community gather and bustle, I felt tears welling in my heart. There was an ache within me I didn’t know I was carrying.

During worship service (singing praise songs), those tears sprang out. I felt like I had finally come home.

PK

Some backstory: I had grown up in church and was the daughter of a Missionary Baptist pastor. When I was 5 years old, I was baptized.

For those who are not familiar, baptism is performed after you testify that you believe Jesus Christ is the Son of God and agree to submit your life to Him.

To believe that a 5-year-old can understand the weight of this is, at best, hopeful.

I knew the story of Jesus and believed he was a real person who came to deliver the gospel, but what brought me to testify he was the Son of God and to submit my life to him was fear of his wrath.

There was a skit circulating in the 90s that depicted people living life, then dying. When they came to in the afterlife, they were met at the pearly gates by either angels letting them into heaven or by Satan bringing them to hell (in a grim reaper costume). I had watched a VHS recording of this skit, and it terrified me! Not only being sent to a place where I’d burn forever, but also being separated from my family.

I prayed intensely that night and asked Jesus to save me.

The next morning, I told my parents, and of course, they were ecstatic. The following Sunday, I gave my testimony before the church and was baptized shortly after.

I attended church until I was 17, but during that time, I had grown away from the faith and the church. I had a troubled upbringing despite my parents’ best efforts.

But I had finished college, had a stable job, had long-term relationships, and lived my life to the best of my ability, yet I always felt empty. This emptiness led me into some dark places and made me make some bad choices.

And yet I always had a spiritual pulse - I spoke to God in the darkness, praying for comfort or guidance. I felt a pull to study different belief systems as well, and while some aspects were helpful, I felt something was missing.

Fast forward to my husband and me discussing returning to church; when we considered it, I really wanted to make sure I was coming back for the right reason.

After that first Sunday, I searched my heart. And every Sunday sermon after brought me closer to Him. And after months of attendance, I knew I was ready, not because of fear or from a transactional stance (i.e., heaven or hell) but from a place of love and understanding.

Once my husband and I, both on our own spiritual journeys, reached the same conclusion that we were ready to recommit to Christ, we were baptized on March 22nd.

New Bible

On the Wednesday before we were baptized, I was sitting on the couch with my trusty Amazon shopping cart open, searching for Bibles, trying to decide which translation to buy, and with what cool note-taking carrier with all the pockets and stationery.

I had a sinking feeling in my gut - doubt was creeping in.

“Am I really going to read this, or is this going to gather dust on the shelf?”

“Am I truly convicted?” “Is this all for show?”

The truth is, I was worried I wouldn’t study it. I have loads of books on my bookcase that I haven’t read (don’t we all at some point), and I couldn’t help but doubt I’d make the time.

This reminded me of my other struggle - how to find time to create, and my last post.

And I realized it had the same solution - make time, start, do it.

It made me think of brushing my teeth - no one needs to be reminded to brush their teeth (most of the time). You know it needs to get done.

I realized I already keep a list of priorities in my head, I just needed to add these two: 1) read the bible - even if it’s just 2 chapters at a time, and 2) create something - write or collage - every day.

We make space for what needs to happen. A need is non-negotiable. I think we get into the habit, especially in motherhood, of leaving out the things that nourish us if they aren’t practical or tied to our responsibility to take care of our families. Still, it’s important to make time to fill our cups so we don’t become bitter martyrs and to be examples to our kids that it’s ok to nourish ourselves, too.

Baby Blue Nails

Lastly, and completely unrelated, after weeks of anticipation, we found out that God has blessed us with a son! I sent a picture of my daughter’s toes painted blue as a gender reveal to our family and loved ones.

My mother and brother came to visit, and it was lovely, too!

I am so grateful for last month - the closures, rebirths, good news, and thankfulness have filled me up to the brim. 

I pray you are doing well.

Until next time!